...Does not exist, I know that. Oh how I wish it did. But there's that old cliche "You didn't put the weight on overnight, so you can't expect to lose it overnight!"
- Maybe not but you know I had fun putting that weight on. I ate chocolate and doughnuts and ice-cream and cookies.
Ah, but didn't I eat a cookie the other night? Yes. Am I going to lose weight again this week? Yes. So you can have your cookie and lose weight? Err....yes, but you know it helps if it's Weight Watcher cookies you're eating.
For lunch today I had my age-old mid-menstrual cycle craving for grated cheddar on a baguette with salt & vinegar crisps. Honestly, smack bang mid cycle up it pops at least every other month. But what does that lunch spell to you? FAT FAT FAT.
So how to cope? I went to Sainsbury's and bought a small baguette (about 8 inches), some low fat grated cheese and a packet of walkers salt & vinegar. When I returned to the office I cut off half of the baguette including the 2 ends, and using about a handful of the cheese I made my 3 inch baguette roll. Then I pointed it all. It came to 8 points.
A lot for a lunch yes, but for dinner I am having pasta and a low point tomato based sauce which is only around 5 points.
I almost can't believe I actually cut the baguette up and threw it away. Yes I'm sure there are people out there who would think me stupid to eat a baguette when I'm trying to lose weight, but I know me, and I know how this is the actions of a changing woman!
You can eat whatever you like, just lower your portion sizes.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
On the right path
I went to ask restaurant on Wednesday night with my boyfriend.
I spent a good few minutes looking at the menu wondering whether to have a starter and a main or a main and a dessert. A low fat starter such as olives, followed by a healthy tomato based pasta seemed like the best idea. But they do a lovely Del Figone pizza with Gorgonzola and I was really tempted to have that. I'd estimate that to be around 12 Weight Watcher points, so where did that leave me for dessert? Up chocolate creek without a spoon, that's where.
So what did I do? I skipped starter and had the pizza. Then my boyfriend had a chocolate cake, and I had...nothing. Yes you heard it first: the fat girl chose being slim over a cheesecake!
I felt very saintly but you know the annoying thing about wanting to lose about 3 stones is that it's a long and slow process. Even after skipping a cheesecake on a night out I did not wake up the next morning 3 stone lighter, even though I think it would be perfectly fair.
I'm sad to say that despite my sneaky weigh-ins all week I am still the same as on Monday. I've just got to lose at least 1 lb this week.
I spent a good few minutes looking at the menu wondering whether to have a starter and a main or a main and a dessert. A low fat starter such as olives, followed by a healthy tomato based pasta seemed like the best idea. But they do a lovely Del Figone pizza with Gorgonzola and I was really tempted to have that. I'd estimate that to be around 12 Weight Watcher points, so where did that leave me for dessert? Up chocolate creek without a spoon, that's where.
So what did I do? I skipped starter and had the pizza. Then my boyfriend had a chocolate cake, and I had...nothing. Yes you heard it first: the fat girl chose being slim over a cheesecake!
I felt very saintly but you know the annoying thing about wanting to lose about 3 stones is that it's a long and slow process. Even after skipping a cheesecake on a night out I did not wake up the next morning 3 stone lighter, even though I think it would be perfectly fair.
I'm sad to say that despite my sneaky weigh-ins all week I am still the same as on Monday. I've just got to lose at least 1 lb this week.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Being female...
...can be a pain in the belly.
Make me happy today and I might burst into tears. Make me angry today and I might burst into tears; then I'll hit you around the head with whatever comes to hand first.
There are days when I need to stay at home and shut the world out. I won't deny it, going to work is more of a necessity than a pleasure for me. If I didn't have to put food on the table or moisturiser on my face (yes, that's a necessity) I'd be at home writing full time, or watching Fern and Phillip - or whoever they have on nowadays - on This Morning, yeah that might be closer to the truth but anyway you get the point. Home is where my heart is.
Ask my boyfriend and he'll tell you this is part of my normal monthly routine. There are the days when I loathe having to leave the house to go to work, or even leaving the house altogether. Then there are days when I can't stand sitting in front of the telly for more than two minutes:
me: Why can't we do something instead of sitting in front of the TV like zombies?
him: You said you wanted to watch this yesterday.
me: We need to do something with our lives. We stay in far too much. Let's go out.
him: (staying silent, it's the sensible option).
me: I'm going to write my novel.
If you're male and you think women are a foreign entity, you should try being female. It's an experience to say the least. When you're a woman, you just never know what mood you're going to be in when you wake up each morning.
Make me happy today and I might burst into tears. Make me angry today and I might burst into tears; then I'll hit you around the head with whatever comes to hand first.
There are days when I need to stay at home and shut the world out. I won't deny it, going to work is more of a necessity than a pleasure for me. If I didn't have to put food on the table or moisturiser on my face (yes, that's a necessity) I'd be at home writing full time, or watching Fern and Phillip - or whoever they have on nowadays - on This Morning, yeah that might be closer to the truth but anyway you get the point. Home is where my heart is.
Ask my boyfriend and he'll tell you this is part of my normal monthly routine. There are the days when I loathe having to leave the house to go to work, or even leaving the house altogether. Then there are days when I can't stand sitting in front of the telly for more than two minutes:
me: Why can't we do something instead of sitting in front of the TV like zombies?
him: You said you wanted to watch this yesterday.
me: We need to do something with our lives. We stay in far too much. Let's go out.
him: (staying silent, it's the sensible option).
me: I'm going to write my novel.
If you're male and you think women are a foreign entity, you should try being female. It's an experience to say the least. When you're a woman, you just never know what mood you're going to be in when you wake up each morning.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Addicted to isketch.net
It's an online pictionary and I only discovered it recently. I was browsing online games sites on my lunch hour and got hooked. Incidentally this was about the time that I wrote my last few words of my 20,000 for January. Yes, the two are connected.
I need to stop playing it, or I'm never going to get the novel done. I can't let myself buy the new Sims 2 expansion pack when it comes out either. Why? Oh because besides the end to my novel and occasional exercise dreams, it would also mark the end of sleeping as I know it. I do think that if the Sims had never been released I would have written a novel by now. I certainly would have achieved higher than a 2.1 result at University. I am aware that blaming a computer game is a convenient way of denying how plain lazy I am. But it makes me feel better, so there.
So I met up with some ex-colleagues last night. It was a good evening, and I was being saintly to begin with. I ordered a salad and was avoiding the dressing. But then when it came to desserts one of the girls really wanted one, but the rest of us didn't. When she realised this she said, "Oh no, I can't be the only one, I won't have one." So of course I HAD to have one then didn't I? I would have felt guilty because her eyes had really lit up when she saw the dessert menu. I made the two others have a bite too.
I'm being extra good today to make up for it. Now I know having a fattening chocolate brownie dessert is not the answer if I want to lose weight, but initially I had decided not to and I felt confident that I didn't need to have one. Choosing to have one was an act of friendship.
Is anyone else noticing that I tend to blame other things / people for my failures?
I need to stop playing it, or I'm never going to get the novel done. I can't let myself buy the new Sims 2 expansion pack when it comes out either. Why? Oh because besides the end to my novel and occasional exercise dreams, it would also mark the end of sleeping as I know it. I do think that if the Sims had never been released I would have written a novel by now. I certainly would have achieved higher than a 2.1 result at University. I am aware that blaming a computer game is a convenient way of denying how plain lazy I am. But it makes me feel better, so there.
So I met up with some ex-colleagues last night. It was a good evening, and I was being saintly to begin with. I ordered a salad and was avoiding the dressing. But then when it came to desserts one of the girls really wanted one, but the rest of us didn't. When she realised this she said, "Oh no, I can't be the only one, I won't have one." So of course I HAD to have one then didn't I? I would have felt guilty because her eyes had really lit up when she saw the dessert menu. I made the two others have a bite too.
I'm being extra good today to make up for it. Now I know having a fattening chocolate brownie dessert is not the answer if I want to lose weight, but initially I had decided not to and I felt confident that I didn't need to have one. Choosing to have one was an act of friendship.
Is anyone else noticing that I tend to blame other things / people for my failures?
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
When is a diet not a diet?
I have read that I need to make a serious lifestyle change in order to lose weight and keep it off. So strictly speaking I am not on a diet I have just chosen a healthier lifestyle. I guess I'm just trying to get the right mindframe about all this. Positive thinking and motivation go hand in hand.
I know I shouldn't have, but this morning I couldn't resist hopping on the scales (no not literally, the truth is I only stepped onto them) but I did find that I've lost a pound, which was pleasing. Must not let myself do this again though because it's not the actual number of my weight I'm interested in, it's how I feel and how my clothes fit. There's nothing more depressing than feeling slimmer and then getting on the scales to see that you've lost a grand total of nothing.
I'm off for a meal tonight with some of the girls from my old workplace. We always have a giggle when we get together. I've been training my mind all day so that when I pick up the menu I will only notice the healthy options. If I don't even see that I could have a scrumptious sounding rich chocolate cake with chocolate sauce then there won't be a problem will there! Oh wouldn't that be cool if you really could train your mind like that? If you could block thoughts just like you can spam filter and block unwanted emails? When I'm at work I wouldn't let myself think about how great it would be to snuggled back in bed, and when I'm snuggling up in bed I won't let a single work thought into my head. Bliss!
Words written last night: 0
No I am not proud of this. Although I did read through my latest chapter yesterday trying to get back into it and I was actually impressed, there are problems with it and it will need a lot of reworking. But I can't let myself start editing. I really think the key to getting this done will be to get the first draft finished and then go back and rework.
Obviously with going out I won't get any words done tonight either. And as it's now the 8th Feb and I haven't done any of the 20,000 words for this month - I'm going to have to do 2,000 one day and then 1,000 every other day for the rest of the month. Way to go Emma!
I know I shouldn't have, but this morning I couldn't resist hopping on the scales (no not literally, the truth is I only stepped onto them) but I did find that I've lost a pound, which was pleasing. Must not let myself do this again though because it's not the actual number of my weight I'm interested in, it's how I feel and how my clothes fit. There's nothing more depressing than feeling slimmer and then getting on the scales to see that you've lost a grand total of nothing.
I'm off for a meal tonight with some of the girls from my old workplace. We always have a giggle when we get together. I've been training my mind all day so that when I pick up the menu I will only notice the healthy options. If I don't even see that I could have a scrumptious sounding rich chocolate cake with chocolate sauce then there won't be a problem will there! Oh wouldn't that be cool if you really could train your mind like that? If you could block thoughts just like you can spam filter and block unwanted emails? When I'm at work I wouldn't let myself think about how great it would be to snuggled back in bed, and when I'm snuggling up in bed I won't let a single work thought into my head. Bliss!
Words written last night: 0
No I am not proud of this. Although I did read through my latest chapter yesterday trying to get back into it and I was actually impressed, there are problems with it and it will need a lot of reworking. But I can't let myself start editing. I really think the key to getting this done will be to get the first draft finished and then go back and rework.
Obviously with going out I won't get any words done tonight either. And as it's now the 8th Feb and I haven't done any of the 20,000 words for this month - I'm going to have to do 2,000 one day and then 1,000 every other day for the rest of the month. Way to go Emma!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
My first posting
This is all new to me so I'm not sure exactly what to put. Obviously this blog is designed to be an ongoing thing, tracking my progress like a diary. Here's where I am right now:
Words: 20,000 (all in January). Weight: 14 st 1lb.
By the end of the year I need to be about here:
Words: 80-100,000. Weight: 11 st (maximum)
It's going to be a long journey but fingers crossed I can make it. No, scrap that, there's no fingers crossed mumbo jumbo about this any more. I WILL do it.
How? First step I am planning what I am going to eat every morning and sticking to it. I am going to get out of work at lunchtime and walk around the block, and I am also going to stop moaning about why I put on weight when I eat crap. The simple answer is surely to just stop eating crap isn't it? Then for the writing, that's much more sedentary, I just have to make sure I sit down and write between 500-4000 words a day. I'm aiming for 1000 a day but between work, socialising and exercise this might not always be achievable so my main aim is 20,000 words a month.
Weigh in will be every Monday morning. Words written should be a daily thing.
Words: 20,000 (all in January). Weight: 14 st 1lb.
By the end of the year I need to be about here:
Words: 80-100,000. Weight: 11 st (maximum)
It's going to be a long journey but fingers crossed I can make it. No, scrap that, there's no fingers crossed mumbo jumbo about this any more. I WILL do it.
How? First step I am planning what I am going to eat every morning and sticking to it. I am going to get out of work at lunchtime and walk around the block, and I am also going to stop moaning about why I put on weight when I eat crap. The simple answer is surely to just stop eating crap isn't it? Then for the writing, that's much more sedentary, I just have to make sure I sit down and write between 500-4000 words a day. I'm aiming for 1000 a day but between work, socialising and exercise this might not always be achievable so my main aim is 20,000 words a month.
Weigh in will be every Monday morning. Words written should be a daily thing.
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